Many times you will hear people say, "Why does this always happen?!" Sometimes, you will hear them say "this always happens..."
And often it seems to be the same song stuck on repeat1. It does seem to always happen.
See, when something repeats itself, I want to know why. Why does it always seem to be happening again and again. The truth is that if we have a habit of choosing abusive partners, we are likely to be abused by our partners. If we have a habit of choosing people who have troubled relationships, we are likely to be troubled. If we have a habit of choosing people who have short term relationships, we will have short term relationships. If we have a habit of relating to people sexually, we will tend to be viewed as a sexual object.
When we do the same things over and over again, we will get the same results. Because of results being similar we might think that the same things are happening over and over again. We might even think that they are happening to us instead of us choosing it. But it doesn't have to be that way.
The truth is that we can make different choices and get different results. We get the results we choose. We have to challenge our emotionally driven thought that we always gets the same results no matter what we do.
Often we don't make any changes to our choices and expect our outcomes (results) to be different. This is the clinical definition of insanity.
In order to realize real change in our life, we must fight back against this emotional statement by challenging it with the rational truth that by and large we control our own choices and our choices impact our results.
We can choose to be in healthy relationships by choosing to meet and interact with healthy people. A person can choose to not be treated as as a sex object by not interacting sexually with everyone they meet.
We can even choose our happiness.
You and I have the power to change because we have the power to choose.
So how about you and your life? What is happening in your life that you would like to be different? What outcomes are you currently experiencing that are not acceptable but you don't know how to change? Do you feel stuck in outcomes you don't like? Write out a list. Then write next to it things are currently doing to get those outcomes. Then right next to them, how you might approach the situation differently.
You can download a template by clicking here.
This is something I am very passionate about and will continue to post about in the coming days.