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December 2012

4 entries from November 2012

Seek first to hear, then seek to hear

We are a heard deprived society.

Take a moment and list out how many people you feel have really heard you over the years? Not just the words coming out of your mouth but the emotion and soul behind those words. How long is the list?

When I ask clients this question, I am often answered with a, “zero!” or “not many.”

Now realize that this is also true of the people in your life. In couples, the basic problem is that people feel as though they have the right to be heard so they demand that they are heard by speaking over their spouse/partner.

They interrupt.

They finish sentences.

They don’t actually feel heard in the end because it becomes a shouting match or freeze out match.

What does this mean for you? Well, it’s really simple. If you want to be heard, seek to hear first.

Listen before you expect someone else to listen to you. Even your partner/spouse.

That sounds great, but what does it mean practically? Well, this is one of the skills we teach at our Hopes and Dreams conferences (coming to the greater Grand Rapids area in March of 2013). This is also something you can do in a one to one Hopes and Dreams session at my office. This is not counseling but an in depth teaching time. In this ninety minute opportunity, you will learn how to create an environment where those you care about most can feel heard, valued and safe.

If you are interested in this, call 616.929.0226 and let our receptionist know that you are interested in the one to one Hopes and Dreams Christmas special. Also, if you think you have friends that would enjoy going through this with you, there are group discounts available.

Your relationship will be changed, if you utilize these principles.


Life Lessons we all need to know

These lessons were first shared with me by my friend Lance Fry, when we were both teaching and coaching together in Virginia. Since that time, I have taught the first four to everyone that I can possibly can. I believe that when applied they can be life changing. I have added the fifth one because I think it is somehow being missed today.

Lesson 1: Life is not fair, get over it.

Lesson 2: Life is tough, be tougher.

Lesson 3: Life changes, adjust.

Lesson 4: Life is short, make it count.

Lesson 5: Life is hard, expect that and overcome.


Points to Ponder (100 words or less): Life is hard

"This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." (60) M. Scott Peck from The Road Less Traveled