Two words can change your relationship? Admit it, you’re a touch skeptical. I admit that I was when the principle was first shared with me.
But not now, because now I’ve seen it work.
When I was in grad school studying to become a counselor, I would often have people engage me via social media for free counseling. Start out with, “Hey, you’re studying to be a counselor, I was wondering what you thought about….” The sentence would be finished in a variety of ways.
The most common finish to the sentence involved someone’s spouse not getting something done that the person wanted them to do. To be honest, I would deflect and not answer most of the time.
People tactics would change. They would ask my wife.
Especially, her married female friends. The conversation would inevitably go something like this:
Friend: My husband never does _____________.
My wife: What have you tried?
Friend: Well, you know I pretty much nag him non-stop. (Laughing)
My wife: How’s that working?
Friend: Not well
My wife: Well, here’s the secret….
They typically didn’t like her advice. At best, they were skeptical but often they would try it. The majority of the time, they would come back and exclaim to her how well it worked.
What I’ve discovered in my practice, implementing this strategy with my clients is that it not only works to get more done around the house it also improves relationships.
When your husband does something that you want him to do, thank him. Yes, even if you’ll feel he should be doing it. That’s irrelevant. Almost everyone enjoys being thanked.
When you get home from a crazy day, thank your wife for putting in her crazy day.
Your wife fixes the car? Thank her.
Your husband cooks dinner? Thank him.
Try this with your children. It won't completely stop them from still being kids but it will improve things. My assumption is that there are very few people who truly feel as though they are being over appreciated for what they are doing in life. I think most people feel under-appreciated.
Seriously, give this a try. Instead of lamenting what isn’t getting done, praise what is getting done and see what happens. I think the results may surprise you.