12 posts categorized "Hopes and Dreams" Feed

Three things that healthy couples do.

When stress enters the narratives of a relationship, people are often tempted to try and jump directly to problem solving. This is problematic because they are often not in the right place to effectively problem solve. Try the two steps listed below, first.  Screen Shot 2016-02-29 at 11.50.49 AM

Three Things that Every Healthy Couple Does:

1. De-escalate stress points.
In every fight there comes a "jump off" point where the fight begins in earnest. Usually, there are stress factors that precede the fight and each person escalates. These escalation points usually come from both the other person (inside the relationship) and other forces (outside the relationship). Successful couples know how to de-escalate this process so that they can tolerate the stress of the situation.

2. Tolerate the stress.

The good news is that you can't de-escalate for the other person. The bad news is that you can't de-escalate for the other person. You can only de-escalate yourself. The trick is to do this to the point that you can talk to the other person. You want to be able to calm yourself in order that you can hear and help the other person hear you.  This allows you to problem solve as a team.

3. Problem solve.

Problem solving as a team helps to build emotional security. It also helps to avoid emotional scars that often last long after the original point of contention is forgotten.

So how are you doing at these three skills? Do you want to do better? Then register today for this years marriage conference and I'll teach you ways to develop these skills. Even if you think, "Hey, we're OK at this stuff," I'll help you get better.

 

*** Please note this post was originally posted early in 2017. If you are interested in going to a 2018 Conference be sure to like our Facebook page or subscribe to this blog's RSS feed by adding your email in the subscribe button. You can also add your email to our mailing list by commenting below or sending us a Facebook message.

 


Hopes and Dreams 2015

Hopes and Dreams Marriage conference is set for this year. It will be Feb 21st at Comfort Inn North. For locals, that's near 5th/3rd ballpark.

I haven't been blogging much lately (OK, not since October) but I have been working on finishing a book to go with the material that is being presented at the conference.

I've also been working on the expansion of our practice so that we can serve more people.

I am excited to get back to blogging and I am not sure that I will have a completely set posting schedule but I will posting irregularly over the next few months.

I'm hoping to add some vblogging to my material. Time to put my iPhone to use for more than Subway Surfers and Facebook. For now, here is a video teaser we made for the upcoming conference. You can sign up by clicking the Hopes and Dreams button above.


Hopes and Dreams Cyber Monday Sale

Well, of course, we want to get in on the Cyber Monday sale fun!
I'm so excited about Cyber Monday (my wife says that Amazon is my website of choice) that we're going to have an offer all week.
Anyone who registers for Hopes and Dreams 2014 between today and Friday, December 6th at 11:59pm will get their choice of a Joe Martino Counseling Mug or a Joe Martino Counseling T Shirt. The conference this year will be at the Ramada Inn on the corner of 28th and M37 (Commonly known as the Beltline). 

We're offering two conferences in one day this year and I am so excited to remind everyone that we are offering a name your own price feature. We believe this information can improve everyone's relationship and while I think it's important that people pay something, I don't want money to get in teh way of them learning these tools.

So head on over to the Hopes and Dreams tab and register today.


Another Video from an attendee

What if your marriage hasn't started yet? Will Hopes and Dreams help you? Absolutely. Watch the video below and get Will's thoughts after attending his first Hopes and Dreams Seminar before he was married. Hear how he believes that attending helped set him up for success in his marriage.
We are quickly coming up on the close of early registration. Sign up today!

 

 


Learning how to engage your partner (even in conflict).

Let's talk about something you will learn at this year's Hopes and Dreams Conference.

Do me a favor.

Take out a piece of paper and draw a circle in it. Now write out some things that go on in your life anywhere else on the paper.

Work....hobbies...family...faith...charity...etc.

Now write in the middle of that circle these words, "Circle of Conflict."

Now, let's consider something. What if that circle is the only place you can go to solve the conflict in your relationship?

My guess is that, if you are like most people I know, you avoid that circle at all costs.

The very place you have to go to have the type of relationship you really want gets avoided at all cost.

Because of this, your relationship actually suffers. Rather than growing through love, trust and respect, you suffer through guilt, shame, fear and resentment.

I believe that anyone can learn how to enter into that circle. I believe that anyone can learn how to stay in that circle long enough to solve the issues that come up in every relationship.
More importantly, I believe that when we do learn to engage inside the circle of conflict, we actually build our relationship with a foundation that will see us through all the storms of life.

And I want to teach you how to do just that. I want to teach you that the circle of conflict can be a safe place where your partner learns to love you and trust you more despite your conflict.

My assumption is that in order for any relationship to be healthy, a couple must possess the skills to engage inside the circle of conflict and stay engaged in that conflict in way that is healthy and healing.

Come to Hopes and Dreams 2013 and I will teach you exactly that. You will leave armed with the skills necessary to process through conflict with your partner. Over time, you will see that circle of conflict actually adds value to your relationship.

Register today. Seats are limited. I truly believe the tools being offered in this conference can improve your relationship, no matter where you find it.

CC


Three things you'll learn at Hopes and Dreams

Registration for our marriage conference called Hopes and Dreams is now open. I would like to personally invite you to attend.

My goal with Hopes and Dreams is to change the world. Sounds somewhat naive, right? Let me explain. I think that the world can change through stronger and better relationships. Hopes and Dreams is my attempt to help every couple, no matter where they are at in the relationship arch to improve their relationship.

This conference will help you no matter what state your relationship is in. At a Hopes and Dreams conference you will learn a new way to look at conflict. The question is not "Will there be conflict?", rather the true question of every couple is, "How do we positively process our conflict?"

This conference will help couples who are caught in a bad narrative (counselor speak for stuff's going bad) by helping them to examine the frames that they are using to view the relationship and how they can change those frames. It will also help them to truly understand how they can guarantee change in the relationship.

It will help couples who are in a good narrative by offering them ways to reinforce the foundation of their marriage and proven techniques by which they can continue to build their relationship.

Everyone at the conference will learn:

  1. The three core questions that everyone asks of their spouse and how the answers to these questions shapes everything.
  2. The three pillars that every healthy relationship rests on. How to build these three pillars up in your own relationship.
  3. Learn how to examine y9our fights and stress moments so that you can actually solve the problem as opposed to just repeating the same fight over and over again.

Attendees will learn these three truths and more! Everyone who comes will also have the chance to win a new golf driver valued at almost $500.00 and other great gifts.

I would really like to see you there. You can register by clicking on the tab underneath my banner, entitled Hopes and Dreams.