22 posts categorized "Weblogs" Feed

Taking Responsibility versus Taking the Blame | Psychology Today

The tipping point is really about our perspective. Rather than maintaining ourselves in a place where we are exercising an evolved sense of "me-and-you" (ethno-centricity), we can get stuck in "it's all about me" (ego-centricity) -- especially when confronted with the strong emotions of another person, or an emotionally charged situation. That sort of thinking is both the root of self-blame, and a barrier to recognizing relative responsibility.

via www.psychologytoday.com

I thought this was a pretty interesting article. Dealing with self blame vs. personal responsibility is something I do a lot in my counseling practice. Clients often tip the balance too far one way or another. What about you? What are your thoughts on this article? Do you struggle to go too far one way or another? Why do you think that is? How do you think you could change that?

Addiction, Self-responsibility and the Importance of Choice | Psychology Today

One of the central facets of addiction is the unwillingness to take responsibility. Without exercising the all-important watershed of self-responsibility, breaking the compulsive cycle that leads to addictive behavior is all but impossible. Systems like AA or the Minnesota Model, which allow the abdication of self-responsibility to The Program, The Meeting, The Sponsor and even God, are, from this perspective, clearly suspect and, as the numbers bear out, considerably -- and understatedly -- less than successful.

In this moment, the heads of 12 Step proponents are exploding, for I have blasphemed. Before you do explode, however, consider that, if you have maintained some semblance of sobriety for any extended period coincident to participating in a 12 Step-type program, you constitute less than 5% of all those who entered into that program within the 12 month period of your initial participation, and 95% of your brethren left that program sometime in those same 12 months. Given that the Harvard Medical School reports spontaneous remission of alcoholic behavior at 50%, rethinking the Holy Grail of AA and its sister systems, with their historically less than 5% success rate, might be worthwhile.

via www.psychologytoday.com

This is from a blog that I enjoy reading. I don't agree with everything this man says but I find he is spot on most of the time. What I find interesting as a therapist is our countries addiction to the 12 step program even though there is no empirical evidence to actually suggest it works for the vast majority of people.  We have 12 steps for everything. For a fun time go to your local bookstore, or hit up Amazon and do a search of books on sex addiction. Guess what the vast majority advocate. If you guessed 12 steps you are correct. This is not to say that 12 steps works for no one, but the numbers simply don't bear out that it works for many. What are your thoughts?

RELEVANT Magazine - The Dangers of Emotional Pornography

But what about the unhealthy emotional and relational expectations portrayed in so much of our media? Is there really much of a difference in the hyperbolized sexual imagery of typical pornography and the hyperbolized momentary emotional high felt in a romance film or romantic comedy that sends us looking for a “love” that doesn’t exist?

via www.relevantmagazine.com

I found this article to be interesting. What are your thoughts? I know that a lot people try to escape into these types of movies. Is this guy dead on? Is he off his rocker? What do you think?

The Truth About Milk

Claim #4: “Fat-free milk is much healthier than whole.”

The Truth: Nope. While you’ve probably always been told to drink reduced-fat milk, the majority of scientific studies show that drinking whole milk actually improves cholesterol levels—just not as much as drinking fat-free does.

via health.yahoo.net

I hate, despise, cannot stand, feel like I'm drinking water with white food coloring in it skim milk. When I was younger and extremely skinny I drank whole milk and no one said anything about it. Now, that I am older and not skinny, I often hear about the evils of whole milk. It's nice to see an article that says, "hold on."

10 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You - Parenting on Shine

Wonder what’s bugging your teen? It’s hard to be certain when all your son does is grunt and your daughter won’t stop rolling her eyes. So rather than pressing our own kids to talk—not going to happen!—we asked teenagers from around the country what messages they wish they could share with their moms and dads. Sure, every child is different, but it may do you and your teen some good if you took these truthful kids’ concerns to heart. Photo: © Thinkstock

via shine.yahoo.com

I have no idea who Kimberly Fusaro is but she must be a heck of a sales person to convince someone that this list had any new information on it. What do you think?

Nordstrom's Employee Handbook — short and sweet - (37signals)

Nordstrom Rules: Rule #1: Use best judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules.

via 37signals.com


I found this by accident. I find it interesting on a number of levels. The comments that followed were interesting for one thing. But what about the concept itself? It seems that everywhere I go people complain about being micro managed. Freedom like this seems to be unheard of today. What are your thoughts? According to the article Nordstroms had the highest sales in thier company history at this point.

My son is gay « Nerdy Apple Bottom (is this bullying)

Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.

via nerdyapplebottom.com

Ok, so here's my question is this bullying? I mean, when I read the article, the reactions of the women made my stomach turn, but are they actually bullying the woman and her son as she suggests? I agree with much of what the writer has to say, but I do wonder what makes this bullying.  What do you think?

Stress as a Predictor of Adult Mood Disorders | Psych Central News

Emerging research suggests daily stress may be more dangerous to our health than previously believed.

via psychcentral.com

Great article talking about the relationship between stress and adult mood disorders. Depression in on the rise and what we are currently attempting to do doesn't seem to be working. What do you think? How do you handle stress?

America and the ‘Fun’ Generation - NYTimes.com

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS — From the first years of the American republic, a quiet battle has simmered over the words that denote the nation’s soul. And now a count can declare the victors: “achievement” and “fun.”

via www.nytimes.com

Heard about this article via stayoutofschool.com. What are your thoughts about it? Have we lost sight of excellence? What do you think this implies for our marriages and relationships? How often do we sacrifice excellence for achievement?

Confessions of a Hotel Housekeeper - Manage Your Life on Shine

The best guests sleep in Three simple letters could inspire the "Hallelujah" chorus: DND, or do not disturb. One sign hanging on a doorknob, and the day's work was shortened by half an hour. Two signs? Pure heaven, but only if they remained there until my eight-hour shift ended—otherwise I'd have to circle back and clean the rooms. My daily list of 15 rooms (out of 325 in the hotel) consisted of DOs (due out) and Os (occupied), which in housekeeping lingo meant the guests were scheduled to check out or were staying another night. An occupied room was less labor-intensive (making the beds rather than changing the sheets saved me 20 minutes), but there was always the possibility the guest would stay in the room while you worked. One man watched me clean his entire room, from scrubbing the toilet to emptying the trash—and told me at the end that I was "building character." Condescension is not nearly as encouraging to a maid as a couple of dollars.

via shine.yahoo.com

What do you think of this article? I find it interesting that he or she seems to have guilt that the best effort was not put forward, but then follows that by suggesting that the real blame is because the tips were not high enough and the pay was too paltry. That sounds suspiciously like responsibility avoidance to me.